Nothing Lasts for Me

Ok, for the sake of my sanity, let me just say my situation right now is "complicated" to the Nth degree. Things got really good for a while there, lost my virginity to the girl I love, but then it got really bad. There's another guy, and he has complicated this the fuck up. In a way that makes me happy for her, but not him. He ruined my chances with the girl of my dreams and I can never forgive him for that. This girl doesn't really truly love me like I love her, she told me so. So I'm hoping I can at least try to show her that there is a guy in her life that will treat he better than gold and expect nothing from her. I want to take care of her and all the problems that come with her. I would never stop loving her, no matter what. But apparently, I don't matter enough for her to stay with me and give me the chance to protect her and support her. I'll be leaving the east coast soon, maybe within the next year to escape from this terrible environment and start off fresh with a clean slate. But I will NEVER look for another girl, she would have been the only one for me. If she had chosen me. But it seems I was out of the running before the race even started. The only thing I'm taking with me is a bag with a few possessions and clothes. Nothing else but $500 to get there. After that? Who knows, maybe I'll live on the streets for a while whilst I'm looking for a job. If she decides to be with him, there will be nothing left for me here. I don't know if this'll be my last post or not, but for all the people reading this, my friends and even the girl of my dreams, I say this: Goodbye.