Is This Blog Obsolete?

It seems the reason I created this blog is no longer in existence. I created it to get out my depression and hatred toward things that I could not accomplish or have in my life. But it seems that all the wrongs have been righted, in the end I got the girl. So it appears that this will probably be my last post, until something else happens in my life, good or bad. Well to the one follower I have, I say thank you, and goodbye. Now my life is happy again, the fact time waits for none does not bother me anymore.

I'm Back....

Let me bring the one person who actually reads this blog up to speed: the other guy left, things became uncomplicated from him, and things seemed to be looking up. Until it was time for me date the girl of my dreams. Her parents did not condone it, and she was afraid to love again after what happened with "he who shall not be named". So finally after another 2 months of courting her, she was ready to date me, and even her parents were warming up to the idea. Then all of a sudden, she told me they were against the idea, and she didn't feel love towards me, no fear, but no love. I thought this might be because she finally is able to trust me and accept being with me, that's why she didn't feel the fear anymore. But no. I'm not that lucky, mind you this ironically occurred on Friday the 13th. She doesn't see it that way, and she is not going to date anyone in the near future because she really isn't ready to. She said she wants me to remain friends with her, but with all the romantic moments we spent together, all the love notes, all the emotional pain I've endured, I don't know if it will be fully possible for me to act the same as before around her. So what next? No idea, but for now I'm heartbroken and I am definitely not going in to love again for the foreseeable future. She meant and still means the world to me, and I will not settle for anyone other than her. I just hope she sees the error she made in this case, and comes back to me someday. Maybe as a birthday present (December). I will be updating this blog more often now, but probably not every day. Thanks for reading.

I was correct the first time.

Everything DOES suck, and this will more than likely be my last post. Goodbye everyone.

Not Gone... Time Rolls On...

Things may not be as bad as I made them out to be. I will update this more later.

Nothing Lasts for Me

Ok, for the sake of my sanity, let me just say my situation right now is "complicated" to the Nth degree. Things got really good for a while there, lost my virginity to the girl I love, but then it got really bad. There's another guy, and he has complicated this the fuck up. In a way that makes me happy for her, but not him. He ruined my chances with the girl of my dreams and I can never forgive him for that. This girl doesn't really truly love me like I love her, she told me so. So I'm hoping I can at least try to show her that there is a guy in her life that will treat he better than gold and expect nothing from her. I want to take care of her and all the problems that come with her. I would never stop loving her, no matter what. But apparently, I don't matter enough for her to stay with me and give me the chance to protect her and support her. I'll be leaving the east coast soon, maybe within the next year to escape from this terrible environment and start off fresh with a clean slate. But I will NEVER look for another girl, she would have been the only one for me. If she had chosen me. But it seems I was out of the running before the race even started. The only thing I'm taking with me is a bag with a few possessions and clothes. Nothing else but $500 to get there. After that? Who knows, maybe I'll live on the streets for a while whilst I'm looking for a job. If she decides to be with him, there will be nothing left for me here. I don't know if this'll be my last post or not, but for all the people reading this, my friends and even the girl of my dreams, I say this: Goodbye.

Things Change, For The Better!

I guess my luck has finally changed for the better. Maybe it's because I said "rabbit" instead of "happy new year". I don't know, I don't usually believe in that kind of stuff. But everything seems to be changing for the better, it really does. Christmas went well, so did the visit from my friends, as well as new years. And that girl that I care about so much is being very nice to me, so maybe there's a chance. I'll post when I find out more, or later this week. Me and her are probably going to a movie soon, so that'll be nice. Thanks for reading.

Is it me?

Still not feeling great in the way of emotions. I can't believe I'm this depressed at Christmas time. And all because of one situation, one thought burned into my memory. And no matter how hard I try, it won't go away. Anyway, here is a song from one of my favorite games that exemplifies how I feel right now: